Pop Music Something

Every now and then I like to critique popular music. I don't know why. I guess because when I'm driving to and from work I have a lot of (really deep) thoughts about whatever is on the radio. I have six pre-set stations on my radio. Two are top 40, one is BobFM ("We play anything"), one is Mix (which is basically music you wouldn't mind having play at a boring mom store), one I don't remember, and NPR. 

One thing to mention about the top 40 stations is that we seem to get all the new music a short while after everywhere else in the US. Every time my friends (mostly Cort in DC) are talking about a song, I have to Google it. Then a week or two later I hear it non-stop.
Second thing to mention is, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MUSIC RIGHT NOW? Even like a month ago I could generally find something on the radio to listen to on my four basic stations (NPR and the one I don't remember don't count because NPR is informative but usually depresses me with world news, and the other one, obviously, is because I never use it). But this past week or so, I swear the only things that come on are Maroon5 (the bane of my existence), Taylor Swift (the other bane) and Bruno Mars. 

It's driving me crazy.

I listen to BobFM and Mix (mom station) more than anything. That usually means I'm rocking out to "Land Down Under" by Men at Work (I was going to insert a video of this song but it seems not to exist on YouTube which is super weird. If you don't know it, listen to either of those radio stations and it will probably come on in like 2 minutes. They play it all the time.) or "Rocket Man" by Elton John (Another common song). 

(Rocket Man)

Anyway, you get the gist. Although, Mix tends to play exactly the same music that it has played since 1999. I remember what it played back then because it's the same station my best friends mom would listen to when she drove us places. And yes, it still plays Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden and various Backstreet Boys songs often. I also hear some good ol' Alanis Morissette all the time. Speaking of which, did you know she was only like 20 when Jagged Little Pill came out? I am impressed. I'm 24 and relate to that album more and more all the time. Except the part where she doesn't seem to really understand irony. 

I just went to find "Truly Madly Deeply" on youtube to put in here, and this came up first:

I'm annoyed.

This leads me into the real topic of my blog. Why are all the songs so shitty? Lydia told me about Selena Gomez's new song being awful. I looked it up (she's in rural Quebec, apparently they hear new songs before Chico does). I mean, I could get down to "Love you like a love song," but this song was atrocious. What was she even thinking?! And that's how I'm feeling about ALL the songs. 

Even Justin Timberlake's new songs, which aren't bad could never compare with SexyBack. I'm almost sure the only reason I even like Suit and Tie is because I think it's funny when Jay-Z says "This is truffle season!" JT's other new song, "Mirrors" sounds just like "Cry me a River" but shitty and some the lyrics are sweet. It's like, really!? You were better off being pissed at Britney than you are at being in love with Jessica Biel. Jessica Biel kind of creeps me out anyway....um... I'm sure she's a nice person and probably more sane than poor Britney.

Mirrors

Cry me a River

Next problem. Or I mean the MAIN PROBLEM WITH TOP 40 MUSIC RIGHT NOW:

EVERY MAROON 5 or ADAM LEVINE ANYTHING EVER MADE.

I really don't get it. Not only is he a douche bag, his voice is annoying. It's like a bitchy, undeserved-cocky whiny asshole version of Justin Timberlake. I can't even take it. And he's EVERYWHERE. I think everyone is trying to jump on the Adam Levine bandwagon and grab a piece of his ab-flaunting piece of poo personality cult. Really. Why. Why. Why. When I first heard "Harder to Breathe" in like 2002 or whenever it was, it was like, okay, whatever. But really. Ten+ years later and he's only getting more popular!? Shouldn't he have had a mental breakdown or drug addiction by now? I don't know why it's like instant rage when I think of him. And every freakin' station is playing something involving him all the time. Even Gym Class Heroes collaborated with him. Am I missing something? Sorry, I think his tattoos are ugly.

Taylor Swift- 22

Compared to Adam Levine she's an annoying little fly buzzing around. She annoys me but there's not so much anger. I still am very confused on how she is winning country awards. It's not country at all anymore. Oh well, whatever. Plus, how does everyone think she seems so sweet when she just has relationships so she can write bitchy songs after? I wish I could write bitchy songs about my ex-boyfriends, but wait, I still respect most of them! But no, I'm not as simple and sweet as her, right? It's because my hair doesn't curl so softly and my voice isn't so smooth. Oh well. Her new song is pretty weird too. The one about acting 22? 22 is a good year. I can't wait 'til she's 56 going on a Casino tour playing that song. 

I don't know. It's like she's trying to be edgy by implying that she is going to drink. I can't wait until she decides to be sexy and gets in trouble like every famous girl.

This is probably the worst blog I've ever written. I wrote it a couple days ago and just came back to finish it up and I can barely even get through it because the grammar alone is so screwed up. Oh well! I'm going to add more anyway.

Icona Pop- I Love It

This is the best song on the radio right now. I'm kind of obsessed with it. It's the perfect summer song. Not to mention, the radio stations play it always at like 5:03 right when I'm leaving work, usually moderately pissed off something only mildly worth thinking about, and I get to hear this song about a not giving a shit! And they are pretty girls with cute accents that say the word "bitch." What more can you really want in a song? Oh yeah! You can dance to it! Not that I ever dance anymore, sadly, but I could if I wanted to! Let's have a dance party!!!!

Bruno Mars- Locked Out of Heaven

I'm pretty disappointed in Bruno Mars' second album. I haven't actually listened to the whole thing, just the singles on the radio. But they've been crappy. I was a weirdly huge Bruno Mars fan after his first album (except the Lazy Song) and I really thought I could imagine marrying him (with Marry You as the soundtrack duh.) I'm glad I didn't marry him because this album sucks. This song is really really bad. And you know, I don't even think it's the singing or the song itself that sucks, it's the freakin' PELVIC THRUST "UH" SOUND that happens periodically as part of the beat. I hate it. I'll find myself listening to the song and as soon as I hear the first "uh!" I immediately want to puke, hit a parked car, and then hit myself on the head with a baseball bat. It's just so ridiculous. Sorry Bruno, that song is a failure and thus you have ruined your chances to ever marry me in Vegas.

Demi Lovato- Heart Attack

Guilty pleasure.