People made stupid decisions in Spring because it's finally warm enough to leave the cave and quilted beds to show off pale skin, eyes squinty in the sunlight. Not only are our ankles and wrists shown immodestly like Victorian Era hoes, but our cleavage, ass-cracks and love-handles bulging over our hiphugging shorts. It's still too cold and our leg hair is poking out over goosebumps but hopefully no one will notice because they are too busy oggling breasts popping across the bar. Girls and men like bears coming out of hibernation except with the uncontrollable behavior of cats in heat, begging to reproduce or at least "fuck" (because babies are so 1950s housewife, and who has time for that shit.) Everyone is grabbing beers and shots of vodka in order to blur their vision and make it easier to be so self-respectless and shitty, but their friends will excuse their behavior because, well, they are doing the exact same thing. So, when you find your dude or lady, everyone is egging it on saying, "hell yeah! YOLO!" and "who gives a fuck!" rather than saying "are you sure because he's kind of chunky and douchey?" And you say yes because, well, why not? You're twenty-something and life seems so wide open in the spring. The sun makes everything clear even when it's hazy and it feels good to be in the warmth or in the bar or in the park or anywhere in general. Plus, your boobs look damn good; your make up looks just right; you finally had the energy to shave your legs so you are definitely NOT letting the effort go to waste.
No comments:
Post a Comment